Grooms are always asking me if they need to give a toast or say something at the reception. While many times the groom says something at the rehearsal dinner, as their wedding planner, I really encourage them to take a moment at the reception and say something. Everyone has come to see the couple get married and they really want to hear them say a few words.

When the groom hears this, it is usually when the panic sets in and they start worrying about what they are going to say. Well, thank goodness they hired a seasoned wedding planner with speech writing experience. I tell them it is pretty simple and they can make it long or short, it’s really up to them and the bride can also participate if she wants. But for those that don’t have a wedding planner not to worry, here are 10 easy steps to follow.

Remember this is a thank you and the groom is ALWAYS the last to give a toast/speech. Let the planner and DJ know to never let anyone jump in afterwards, if people want to give additional toasts they will have opportunities later in the evening. The groom gets the last word out of respect.

So here is a simple outline to use:
1) Thank everyone for attending
2) Thank her parents for raising the most wonderful (fill in all those great adjectives) daughter, woman and future mother of your grandchildren.
3) Thank your parents for putting up with all your shenanigans and whatever stresses you caused or gray hair. You know what you did so just fess up and thank them.
4) Thank the groomsmen for being your boys and having your back.
5) Thank the beautiful bridal party for supporting and caring for your bride.
6) Then you will toast your stunning and beautiful bride, lay it on and lift her up on that pedestal. Tell her how much you are looking forward to growing old and anything else that is on your heart.
7) KISS the bride!!!
8) Here is where we change it up…sometimes the groom will now ask the bride “will you honor me with the first dance as Mr&Mrs?” This is a great transition into the first dance and keeps the focus on the couple.
9) Practice, practice and practice some more.
10) Once you have written the speech, call someone and read it over the phone, just read it right off the paper. Yes you will change something or add in words, as what is on paper sounds so much different when spoken to someone else. The most important practice you can do is during the rehearsal. Go stand in that place where you would be and bring in a groomsmen. Read it and on the second time through have your groomsmen clap and oh and ah and laugh, or just heckle you, it’s what’s going to happen and by being interrupted you get the feeling of it and can work through it. You will be so happy you practiced and felt confident because I’m telling you, mom will cry and people are going to laugh and interrupt you.

So there you go 10 steps to a great thank you toast for the groom. If the bride wants to participate, I’ve seen it where she will thank his parents and her bridal party, but always the groom gets the last step so he can toast the bride. Always make sure your DJ knows the order and what you plan on doing after the toast so there is no stalling, if you plan on going right into your first dance, have the DJ start the song softly while you are kissing and asking her to dance, make it a big production to take her out to the dance floor. If you want any tips on that first dance check out our blog from an interview with a professional dance instructor.


Please comment and tell us about your toast or any ideas on a topic you would like to have us talk on.

Want to watch this blog?